I just spent the last 2 hours talking to my grandmother and I’m pretty sure she invented the concept of choose happy. There is something so refreshing about talking to someone who has lived through all of the bullshit and can just tell it like it is… I missed her. That conversation made me realize how important family, especially grandparents, are and yet, I used my embarrassment of my divorce as a reason not to call her more just to chat. And do you know what she said when I told her that? “Just let it go.”
The topics of our conversation ranged from how we are both sick right now, to marriage and how hard it is, to not letting negativity affect you. She listened to the long, drawn out story of the last few months of my life and she offered advice at the moments my voice began to crack with emotion. She said, “Sweetheart, sometimes things don’t work out. You couldn’t have known that this would happen,” and I agreed, but also disagreed, because I had another list of things that fell under the I Should Have Known category. Once I was done spewing more emotions, she simply said, “stop going back and forth. You can’t look back anymore, honey. What’s done is done and now your job is to move forward and live a new life.”
**dramatic pause to appreciate my grandma’s no bullshit advice**
And it’s not that I didn’t know these things; it’s not that my friends and other family haven’t told me these things too. But this straightforwardness from a woman who has lived through some hard times, it just spun my perspective a little bit. And from it, I grew a little bit stronger today.
And in some true, choose happy fashion, I will leave you with some other “Nicki’s Grandma’s Advice” :
•Always say good morning or pay a compliment to someone when you see them – you never know what kind of day they’re having and you have the power to make it better.
•Don’t let negativity affect you – whatever shit they are going through doesn’t have to be your shit [yep, she said that]
•Don’t hold ill feelings against someone – just pray that they find the happiness they are looking for. Praying for them will make you feel better too.
•Look in the mirror every morning when you wake up and say “I love myself.”
•”Just let it go” (in reference to any of the following: pain, things you can’t control, other people’s anger, sadness, tough memories, the idea of what you thought things were supposed to be like).